The Moment With Self.

Take a deep breath.

In, hold it in. Release.

No, I don't mean for you to release your tears. Hold it in. Oh, one escaped. Hold the others in. Fine. Come on out. All out. Let's have a party outside.

Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.

I don't know who to tell, or what to think. Or what's really bothering me.

I feel underappreciated, I feel unloved. I feel all the things I'm not supposed to feel, cz I know there are people who cared. All the people who made effort but I pushed them away. The people who hated to know that I'm breaking. That I tried hard to keep a straight face, if not smiling. Smiling is an effort, laughing is a blessing. I am thankful, thankful, I am grateful. I am whole. I can be better than this. I am not this girl in this reflection. I am not this fragile broken unhappy lonely woman. I am not.

I am tired of pretending that I am not.

I am.

I am the most ungrateful person in the world, and I failed people around me.

.

I am truly sorry for being this version of me. I am sorry to all the people I've made lives miserable. I am sorry for being such a slowpoke. I am sorry that I'm such a clutterbrain, clumsy some more. I am sorry my face wasn't a smiley face. I am sorry that I couldn't drive,  I am sorry for being emotional at times, I am sorry for my big appetite. I am sorry that I couldn't keep my tears in, self, I am sorry to breakdown today.

This life has so much to offer.

I am not one of it.