Have you ever

Have you ever

Think that you like someone

That you are being good friends with that someone

But

Everytime they left

You realised that they actually hurt you without you realising it?

Well it's a complicated feeling.

But it's like that.

Well you can't expect people to appreciate you.

The purpose of this life isn't about gathering people's (read:human) appreciation,

But rather, it is to gain Allah's appreciation.

Great huh? The way muslims think. It really freed me.

So yeah am not hurt anymore, yeah whatever.

I'm just too fragile (tho I don't look like it)

:)

So yeah another 28 days towards final Hoyeah

And all I wanna think about that is home. Just home.

The place where I'm never judged, underestimated nor love deprived.

Ooooookay assalamualaykum.

the paper

was proses penyedaran diri terhadap tahap pengetahuan.

berusaha lebih keras lagi selepas ini, mari!

semoga Allah permudahkan perjalanan ini...

peperiksaan dalaman

a.k.a. internals is just around the corner. ye. mmg sudah mencapai paras tengkuk. hari rabu ini homai homai terus buat keputusan berponteng kelas pada hari selasa. heheeww.

doakan yang terbaik, thanks! :D

salamun alaykum ;)

Random

jadikan hari esok lebih baik dari hari ini.

iman naik dan turun, tapi turun jangan lebih rendah dari tahap sebelumnya.

teruskan bermujahadah di jalan Allah, semoga tergolong dalam golongan orang yang mendapat perlindungan di hari tiada perlindungan selain rahmat Allah.

I'm writing randomly now, just typing away what happens to cross my mind.

Today is a very tiring day.

Biarlah struggle tapi tetap ke hadapan.

Talking about being random -.-

Ah, kadang2 sukar nak bersabar. Eh sejak bila sabar tu senang? Mana ada yang senang kat dunia ni.

Esok end posting Preventive & Social Medicine atau nama manjanya PSM.

Nervous.

Orang semenanjung kata cuak.

Kau orang mana? Heh. Muslimah. Heee.

Jangan rasa bongkak. Nanti Allah marah.

Jangan look down kat bangsa lain. Contoh kat india ni. Selamba ayam je cakap, kau ni mcm tempelah wey! Sume benda kat india ni busuk dan tak best!

Jangan.

Tempe pun manusia jugak, tahu?

Dan janganlah kamu berjalan di atas bumi Allah dengan menyombongkan diri.

ok sekian sesi muhasabah diri...

assalamualaykum!

Insaf dan Kembali.

just got to know the dates for my exams. ain't pretty.

was pretty much stressed up with life. at some point, I just feel like nobody. Nobody. understands me. and I really need someone who would.

Any ignorant slapstick jokes became a pang onto my heart. I took things (read: jokes) too seriously. I feel like people were pointing at me and laughed out loud. I feel stupid, boring and inanimate. Not to mention Very Emotionally Disturbed.

then came one night when I chatted with a friend of mine, then I just poured everything onto him. at first I feel really angry and I know I am showing bad vibes. I was complaining about everything-the final exams, the lack of holidays, the people who looked at me with scorn (I am sure this was my imagination, but it had advanced to the stage of delusion), simply said, everything.

Then he (omg he. hehew) answered like this.

Bukanka hidup ni untuk memberi, menambahkan amal?

Ko patut rasa beruntung. Sebab ko dapat peluang untuk beramal.

Orang lain yang dapat cuti tu, nda dapat peluang menambahkan ilmu mcm yg ko dapat.

Memang ko nampak ko kena repeat, benda yang sudah pernah dibuat, tapi, ko habiskan masa ko untuk cari ilmu. Benda bermanfaat. Bukan benda sia-sia.

Snap.

Then he added.

Tadi aku baru ja pergi majlis ilmu, ada tazkirah pasal menuntut ilmu. Kita mesti tuntut ilmu dengan niat mencari makrifah (kenal Allah), barula kita boleh berjaya dunia dan akhirat, bi idznillah.

Snap. Snap.

Yes.

Aku dah salah tujuan hidup.

Aku patut pandang masalah aku dengan pandangan rahmat.

Pandangan yang sebenarnya, Allah bagi aku peluang isi masa aku dengan cari ilmu yang bermanfaat, bukan berfoya2.

Allah. ampunkan hambaMu ini.

Okay. Setelah itu saya jadi lebih tenang kerana sudah me-reset niat.

Eh cakap melayu lak minah nih. -.-

Baiklah sekian. Doakan banyak2 ya.

Assalamualaykum.

Countdown:

End Posting Community Medicine: 23/5/12

3rd Internal Pharmac: 30/5/12

Final Pharmac Paper I: 28/6/12

Final Pharmac Paper II: 29/6/12

Practical Final Pharmac: To be announced after the theories.

You just knew

that something's wrong with a person and that you just can't imagine the picture of the two of you together.

Get my point? No?

It's okay.

I just know it.

And for the first time since a long time, I feel at peace.

I always do. When I think of you.

Confusing?

Yeah, I'm talking about two different persons.

You. The unknown. The far-fetched.

And you. The serene. The comfort. The heart warming.

Allah, show me the way.

Resah

Umi pesan baca surah Ar-Rahman kalau resah.

Dan nikmat TuhanMu yang manakah yang kau dustakan?