Have you ever feel stupid whenever you see a particular human? Yeah I used human cz a person would be demeaning. That human did nothing to you, (well not at the particular moment), not even watching you or noticed you. Yet you feel so damn stupid like you've been stripped down in the middle of a crowd.
It's so stupid yet that's how it is. You feel utterly stupid and disgusted at yourself to the point that you feel like leaving the room in that immediate second.
Yeah I have that kind of effect with that certain human.
And I found the solution today.
Today, when I saw that human, I had my earphones strumming zikir to my eardrums. And this time, I don't feel stupid. In fact, I feel at ease, like nothing could ever harm me.
Definitely the answer is the remembrance of Allah, kept me sane.
Now I think I really should do zikir in my every breath. /tears in my eyes/
Alhamdulillah, thumma alhamdulillah.