The solution to Stupidity Spells

Have you ever feel stupid whenever you see a particular human? Yeah I used human cz a person would be demeaning. That human did nothing to you, (well not at the particular moment), not even watching you or noticed you. Yet you feel so damn stupid like you've been stripped down in the middle of a crowd.

It's so stupid yet that's how it is. You feel utterly stupid and disgusted at yourself to the point that you feel like leaving the room in that immediate second.

Yeah I have that kind of effect with that certain human.

And I found the solution today.

Today, when I saw that human, I had my earphones strumming zikir to my eardrums. And this time, I don't feel stupid. In fact, I feel at ease, like nothing could ever harm me.

Definitely the answer is the remembrance of Allah, kept me sane.

Now I think I really should do zikir in my every breath. /tears in my eyes/

Alhamdulillah, thumma alhamdulillah.

Testing out

I know this will be the same, but i've been without a smartphone for a week and this is kinda awkward. So I got a new phone. Sony Xperia ZR. Hope it'll be good cz the cost to fix my previous phone is too much for value. It's been 2 years++ too, so I guess it's time.

So hello! :) Lets start this new thing with a smile :)

Got ortho end posting tomorrow, intertrochanteric fracture case. May Allah ease and all goes well, ameen.

Till then, Assalamualaykum wbt.

Selamat hari jadi, cinta

Selamat hari jadi, cinta
Semoga hari-harimu lebih indah dengan usia yang bertambah
Semoga setiap satu langkah terkira fisabilillah
Semoga cita-citamu tercapai satu-persatu, membikin kalungan indah
Semoga setiap semoga dari pengucap hari jadi, menjadi nyata

Aduhai cinta
Di ke-dua puluh empat tahun menghirup nafas di dunia
Apakah sudah cukup bekalan dunia sana
Apakah sudah puas menyantuni kedua orang tua
Apakah sudah kau pelajari cara mencintai dirimu, cinta?

Kisah sedih semalam usah kau bangkitkan
Luka dan parut semalam usah kau ceritakan
Namun jangan kau buang, cinta, sesekali jangan
Kerana merekalah yang mengajarkanmu rencah kehidupan

Maka, jika masih diizinkan Tuhan berdiri di bumi
Teruskan juang dalam degupan nadi
Menghabiskan sisa-sisa tahun akhir, tahun akhir bergelar pelajar perubatan di sini
Buktikan kata-katamu cinta
Bahkan yang berjerih-perih tidak pernah terkecuali
Dari mendapatkan jaya dan impi.

Dan aku jua, cinta
Masih bertatih-tatih dalam menyebut diriku "Cinta".

Selamat hari jadi, Cinta!
Jangan kau sangsi
Pasti ada yang mencinta
Dalam kau tahu atau tiada.

Keon Sang Pencinta
Davangere
Isnin 28 Oktober, 2013.

Jangka Kau, Benarkah?

Suatu pagi yang diimpi indah
Bermula dengan terlepas satu anak tangga
Jatuh, terkehel buku lalinya
Benarkah yang kau jangka?

Sebuah cinta yang disulam angan
Berakhir di pelaminan, terhias bunga-bungaan
Tiba-tiba dia naik bosan
Dengan pertelingkahan kecil yang tak berkesudahan
Berakhirnya di hujung gagang,
Benarkah yang kau jangka?

Ulasan minda dipohon dari si karibmu
Bersama permasalahan yang akalmu buntu
Harapnya tertuntas sepertimana rencanamu
Cumanya, terbuah di bibir dia
Tapi butir-butir yang hadir
Malah melontar kau ke tepi pinggir
Alih-alih, sehabis teh secangkir
Gulana hati kau, masih lagi menggetir
Maka
Benarkah yang kau jangka?

Tak salah menelah apa jua mungkin dan bakal
Tetapi pautan hati pada yang belum
Seringkali mencarah-carah
Hati yang sedia berdarah.

Saba-bah ii

And I'm back.

Where was I? Yeah, I used to live in Kota Kinabalu, Sabah from April 2004 to December 2009. By the way from 2008-2009 I wasn't at home much cz I continued my studies at Sepang and after that here in India. So my last biddings of goodbyes to our home at KK was during the end of August 2009. Sad, right.

It is sad cz it was really an eccentric journey for me. In the year 2004 I was scheduled to sit for my Lower Secondary Certificate (PMR) and I was already in a boarding school by that time (MRSM Gerik, Perak.) If you ever went to a boarding school then you'll know the level of attachment between you and your friends. And it became even more dramatic cz MRSM Gerik only caters for Form 1 till Form 3, and 2004 was supposed to be my graduating year. So naturally I want to stay but my mom said the flight tickets will be so expensive yada yadaaa and it'll be such a hussle and all and there's also a MRSM in KK anyway called MRSM Kinarut (the original name of MRSM Kota Kinabalu) and it is 20 minutes from our new house so there. I was so defensive that after knowing the news I call my new school by the name of MRSM Mengarut. Yeah I'm immature liddat.

Anyway I had to say goodbye to my old school and I cried. Yeah. I was really sad that until my first days in KK I slept with my friends' photos under my pillow. Sounds like a psycho now to me but hey, they're like my second family and I was 15. Friends matters.

So I went to MRSM Kinarut/Kota Kinabalu. My dad on the way there tried really hard (or a bit too hard) to cheer me up by telling me that it's good to have new friends and a new school (the school's literally new, it's open for operation starting on 2002) and anytime I feel homesick I can call him and he'll come straight away cz it's only like 20 mins away, not a 4 hours journey like Gerik-Puchong. Oh janji manismu Ayah, ku ingati sehingga ke hari ini, LOL. So I registered and was appointed a room, and since there's no free room cz it's like the middle of the year I was put in a room with 2 juniors, both a year younger than me. I thought oh fine, I won't get bullied then. Yeah what do you expect? New kid, foreign language, timid (I think I am. I can be very timid at times), veryyyy vulnerable to bullying right. But it never happened. I didn't went to the morning classes and went on sorting out my things, expecting things to happen to me. By noon there was people suddenly coming into my room and asked, "Are You the New Kid?" Suddenly my room became the hottest spot of the afternoon. My poor 2 roommates got no room to stay and they only introduced themselves to me after the buzz was over, lol. My (nearly) whole batch was there and was asking me questions like how's your old school? What's your nickname? What does Keon means? LOL. You guys are awesome! They made me felt at ease during my first day. Then I went for lunch with them and I felt very welcomed. Sabahans can be really friendly and awesome and humble too. I loved them the first day I met them. Though sometimes they think my accent is funny but they accept me anyway. It's so nice to be there.

My first Sabahan word that I learnt was "minta puji." LOL I really can't guess the meaning of that. I was like, kenapa pulak aku kena minta puji? LOLOLOL. Apparently it meant the same as Poyo.

Saba-bah.

I'm bored, hence I feel like writing random Sabahan vocab.
Bah.
Limpas.
Bida.
Palis-palis.
Kadapatan.
Ampai-ampai.

For those who didn't know, I once resided at Kota Kinabalu, Sabah for 6 years. that makes up for my upper secondary years and my A-level years.Yeah. The weird teen-adult-confusion phase, all mixed up with a new environment, people, friends and language. Super high five to me for surviving all that!

But I must say, though it is a strange land, I found peace at the beaches of Tanjung Aru.

willbecontinued.

Tangan-tangan

sepasang tangan

sebelah menggendong anak

sebelah lagi disua ke mulutnya

dengan mata berkaca.

sepasang tangan

sebelah menghulur wang

sebelah lagi terkaku tak ketahuan

dengan senyum sedikit tak selesa, mengharap dia kan temui cara lebih baik

untuk mengisi ruang hari, mencari sesuapan.

sepasang tangan

dihala tinggi-tinggi ke kepala si perempuan pengemis

bersama setinggi-tinggi suara

kerana meminta-minta pada orang asing ini

dengan riak muka penuh cerca.

hai seisi dunia

jika adil itu terletak di tangan yang paling atas

akan masih adakah sepasang tangan

yang menadah di bawah 

selain dari yang meminta rahmah Yang Maha Pemurah?